Warhammer Has Made That "Well Akhtually" Guy Into A Real Model

We’ve all been there, happily minding our own business, rolling dice, and moving little dudes and gals around a 4’x4’ board. Suddenly, a man appears in your peripheral vision – and it’s always a man – and points at the Elf who just shot his tiny little painted bow. “You did that wrong.”

I don’t care what the issue is, there’s always some bloke just hanging around gaming stores seemingly with the sole intention of correcting the slightest misplays or telling you that your miniatures are painted wrong. “Ultramarines can’t be pink!” “Women wouldn’t be soldiers in the 41st Millennium!” “Actually, your Dwarfs are historically inaccurate!” They’re made up. It’s pretend.

However, I’m going to give this person – I’m going to call him Dave, but you can name him after your local pedant – the benefit of the doubt. It must be hard to see the worlds you’ve loved for years become more representative of the vast variety of hobbyists who play the game. Dave is feeling left behind, because his toys used to all look like him, and now one little soldier per box is a woman and one is a person of colour.

So, Dave takes it out on you. He’s got to prove himself as the Alpha Warhammerer. He’s The Emperor of Mankind, he’s Archaon the Everchosen, and he wants to prove he knows more than you to assert his dominance and show you who rules the Workshop. He knows that Ultramarines should be blue and must ensure you know that too. He knows that your opponent’s armour save from that puny Elf’s single bow shot that didn’t even wound should have had a cover bonus because the Dwarf it was shooting at was more 25 percent hidden behind a wall. I don’t know if that’s the rules any more, don’t @ me, I haven’t played a game in years for completely unrelated reasons.

But collectors like me, hardcore min-maxing, list-tailoring players, and That Guy Dave are all in luck with Games Workshop’s latest miniature reveal. The Kharadron Codewright is one of Age of Sigmar’s armoured flying Dwarfs, and his role in the lore is to keep his shipmates sticking to the rules that govern their clan. Remind you of anyone?

I’m not sure that min-maxing tournament players will use the Codewright – again, I haven’t played a match in years and don’t intend to – but a gruff dude with a backpack full of books is great for collectors. I’m a big Dwarf fan and I love reading (nerrrrd), so a Dwarf Librarian with sick armour and a big moustache is getting added right to my basket, and subsequently my embarrassing pile of shame.

Don’t forget about Dave. Dave will love the Codewright too. After years of Games Workshop pandering to its female players and players of colour with barebones representation and a handful of extra plastic bits per kit, Dave is finally being represented again. It’s just like the good old days, when every model was either a Man or an Orc, and this is a character that actually knows the rules. Just like Dave. Except, there’s a problem.

Dave hates Age of Sigmar. He hates all change really, but going from little square plastic bases to little round plastic bases is emblematic of the problems with Modern Games Workshop. The company has changed everything he loved so it can better represent a real society, and you simply refuse to play a fantasy battle without all-male forces or slightly larger square trays that you can put all your models on. Don’t worry Dave, Warhammer is coming back, and you can dust off your Tomb Kings again, but in the meantime you’ve finally got some representation. I hope you’re happy, Dave.

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